Recovering Biblical Modesty

Biblical modesty is not a dress code that manages sin from the outside; it is a heart posture that refuses to make self the object of attention so that Christ can be.

Kosmios means, well-arranged, in order, at peace with its place. Is your life ordered under God, or is it clamoring to be noticed?

Modesty is not about necklines and hemlines. It is about self-exaltation.

When Paul commands modest apparel, the list he forbids is a wealth list, not a hemline list.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;1 Timothy 2:9

The word translated “modest” is kosmios, meaning orderly and well-arranged, from the same root as cosmos; its opposite is not “revealing” but chaotic and attention-grabbing.

We should be known for our character rather than our appearance.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.1 Peter 3:1-4

The harshest dress passage in Scripture names the sin before it names the wardrobe.

Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:Isaiah 3:16

The opposite of modesty is not nudity, it’s self-exaltation.

Self-exaltation flows out of a heart that craves glory that belongs to God.

Sin began with Satan reaching for glory.

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.Isaiah 14:13-14

The heart craves admiration and will pursue it through whatever the culture rewards.

For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,Matthew 23:4-6

What shows up on the outside reveals what’s on the inside. Clothing is not the issue, but it is connected.

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.Matthew 15:18-20

Vanity demands applause, but beauty receives with gratitude. The issue is not beauty, it’s vanity.

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.Proverbs 31:22

Looking on another person with lust is not a modesty issue, it’s a self-control issue.

Jesus places the moral weight of lust on the one doing the looking.

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.Matthew 5:28

Neither God, nor David blames Bathsheba for David’s lust and immorality.

And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem. And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.2 Samuel 11:1-2

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.Psalm 51:3-4

Telling men they are visual animals who cannot help themselves does not protect them, it negates their moral responsibility and excuses their sin.

Rules imposed on other people’s bodies do not fix the sin in your own heart.

The answer to a man’s lust is not to cover the woman but to pluck out the man’s eye.

Jesus put the responsibility on the looker’s eye, not on the woman’s wardrobe.

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.Matthew 5:29

A man who takes ownership over his own heart and mind is free. A man who demands the world to be rearranged around his appetite has confessed that he is governed by it.

I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?Job 31:1

A man who blames a woman’s clothing for his sin has not confessed her immodesty, he has confessed his own sin of self-control.

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.Titus 2:2

The woman’s responsibility to honor God and the man’s responsibility to be self-controlled are both real, but neither is at fault because of the other.

For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.Romans 14:17-19

You are responsible for your presentation, and others are responsible for their response.

Walk in modesty of the eyes by making Job’s covenant your own.

Walk in modesty of the body by asking what your presentation is communicating.

Walk in modesty of wealth by refusing to let your possessions do your talking.

Walk in modesty of speech by letting another man praise you.

Walk in modesty of spirit by doing your righteousness for the Father who seeth in secret.

Walk in modesty of presence by esteeming others better than yourself.

Walk in modesty of love by freely offering what no one has the right to demand.

Biblical modesty asks one question of your wardrobe, your wallet, your feed, your mouth, and your ministry, “What am I inviting people to admire?”